Impossible Relationships

Disclaimer: These are just the thoughts of an over-active young mind. A mind that seems complex but yet so simple. I do not offer advice or opinions on your life, this is about my imagination so do not take my word for it and end your marriage. YOU LAID YOUR BED.....I on the other hand is still free to change sheets lol...

Gosh!!! Would the Lord send me someone I am completely compatible with??? Is there any guy out there who thinks almost like me, understands me and appreciate me. I am a young woman that feels like she's been forced into having a relationship by a caring yet overbearing sister. What am I going to do???

Relationships are not meant to be difficult. I forsee my relationship as easy-going and drama-free. I dont want to be the boss. I want my man to be a man but seek my opinion on matters. I want a man to lavish me with love, hugs, dinners and gifts. In return, I would be there for him, loyal to him, love him, de-stress him, cook for him, clean for him, lay with him.

Honestly, I have been seeing a guy for 2months and already feel like I'm married and the honeymoon period is over. God help me. Im thinking if I cant handle him now, is he really right for me???. He is overtly critical, bossy, moody, can be unaffectionate, loud, brash, annoying, ungrateful.....where does the list end....He is a perfectionist to a fault and I find that he is trying to make me into something I'm not and that I find very tiresome. I have grown bored of his moodswings and his constant critique of the way I live my life.

I dont want to give up on this relationship because its the closet I've ever been to giving anyone a chance but trust me to give the most difficult person the first go just scares me to going back to the old me. Give no one a shot till you think you've fallen madily in lust lol. Dont get me wrong, he's got great things going. He's clever, ambitious, hardworking, funny and makes me want to be better but he goes about it the wrong way. Rather than approach me in a nice, polite, advisory way; he becomes critical, moody and dramatic and all I want to scream is YOU'RE LOOKING AT SOMEONE WHO DOESNT GIVE A FLYING FUCK!!! I'll do exactly what pleases me so just take your moody self away from me, your negative vibes is getting on my tits lol. I dont want to be mean but I can feel dude bringing it out in me and God help me I am not going to end up resentful cuz I want a man. I'd rather be single.

Take time out and re-evaluate the situation. Give yourself a break, is this what you really want???

What is it about cHaMPaGNe cAMpAIgNS???????

Disclamier: In NO WAY am I encouraging BINGE DRINKING. If you wake up after a heavy night to drinking more alcholol (BEER is still alcholol)....BABY!!!! YOU MIGHT HAVE A PROBLEM...CONSULT YOUR LOCAL AA GROUP!!!....but to my average FRIDAY NIGHT BOOZE LOVER, that once the tangy, bubbly taste hits those LIPS, you cant STOP when you POP.......HEY!!!! PARTY IS FUCKING OVER HERE!!! AA POTENTIALS, this does not apply to you....you CANT have any...you have a problem ok!!! and if YOU DONT drink, thats FINE but for the JUDGEMENTAL AND SANCTIMONIOUS ....LEAVE YOUR FAKE ASS AT HOME....WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE CLUB ANYWAYS???

OOOooooOOOOO What is it about CHAMPAGNE CAMPAIGNS????

Sends chills down me spine. I'll smiling writing this....hold on!!! Do I need AA??? Nah!!! I just love GOOD BOOZE AND A GOOD PARTY!!! YES BOSS!!! Now there are very simple steps to prepare for a successful CHAMPAGNE CAMPAIGN....rules for women and rules for men!!!

MEN (what WOMEN are thinking during the campaign)

Rule No. 1- Dont DRINK alone....You might think you look great....like YES I bought a bottle and will drink it all to myself....NAH!!! as long as it's alcholol you're going to look like (for the average-looking man)- BUM...you might as well have bought WHITE LIGHTNING!! (for the fine ass guy) SELFISH CONCEITED BILLY NO MATES!! or you're just FUCKING UGLY!!! LMAO!! and no one whats to drink with you...DONT be ANGRY!! someone has to be...we can't all be at the TOP!!!

Rule No.2- Be around SOME FINE ASS LADIES!!! Nothing makeS you LOOK like a BIGGER BALLER than FINE LADIES AND FINE WINE!!!

Rule No.3- Dont STOP POPPING till SOMEONE drops!!! Hopefully not YOU, cuz you need to settle the BILL

Rule No.4- Throwing a campaign MIGHT get you some but it doesnt AUTOMATICALLY get you FREE ASS!!! so quit your BITCHING!!! you wanted to BALL so we helped you feel GREAT about it!!!.

Rule No. 5- Dont GET INTO FIGHTS!!! come on now!! FIGHTING IS for the UNEDUCATED, it makes you LOOK STUPID!!! and everyone will think you're a DRUNK!!! even if you're sober...


WOMEN (what MEN are thinking during the campaign)

Rule No.1- SUGAR!!! if you got that PAPER!!! LETS POP!!! Nothing is more sexy to a MAN than a woman that can get her OWN SHIT!!! if you havent (for the average-looking female) you better have some PARTY TRICKS to compensate for why your UGLY ASS is here drinking my BOOZE (for the FINE ASS FEMALE) chei!!! YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH MURDER, we'll allow you, just SIT YOUR FINE ASS DOWN, drink as much as you like and hopefully you'll lose your inhibitions. LOL!!!

Rule No. 2- Learn how TO HANDLE YOUR BOOZE!!! nothing is more UNATTRACTIVE than a FEMALE being sick everywhere ESPECIALLY in PUBLIC....if you do it round the CORNER....you are a GENIUS!!! you've just created more room!!! PARTY ON!!!

Rule No.3- PLS PLS PLS dont GET DRUNK and DIAL that CUNT that jilted you LMAO!!! after your hardwork of IGNORING him for WEEKS, you're back to SQUARE ONE looking like a PBB (YES!!! A PSYCHO BUNNY BOILER).

Rule No. 4- PLS PLS PLS this is not the time to BRING OUT YOUR JAMO DANCE MOVES!!! everyone would think YOU'RE CRAZY!!! and honestly, I personally WILL NOT stand next to you.

Rule No. 5- DONT get into a FIGHT!!! its JUST DISGRACEFUL!!! and you know you have BITS you dont want POPPING OUT!!! leave the AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOUR for the BEDROOM!!! where it would be very much appreciated....

ANYWHERE you GO!!! as long as you're a POPPING!!! you must be HAVING A FANTASTIC NIGHT!!! cuz BOOZE is OUR FRIEND!!!, CHAMPAGNE hangover is a BITCH and the half and just to add TEAM KANYE!!!! GOT TO LOVE A MAN THAT SPEAKS HIS MIND!!!! EVERYONE WAS THINKING IT, HE JUST HAD THE GUTS TO SAY IT!!!! and he only APOLOGISED cuz he's in the limelight and has to look good....unlike me hahahahaha I AINT GOT NO CORPORATE SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY.......FREE SPEECH BABY!!!

What is it about PSYCHO BITCHES?????

Disclaimer: this does not apply to all women. there are still 1.3m good women out there but for the 100,000 psycho bunny boiling vindictive gold-digging man chasing snatching bitches out there, you need to get a fucking grip and keep yourself positively busy. If you are offended by this post, you are probably one....

What is it about PSYCHO BITCHES!!!!

What A sad group of ladies. You cant but feel for them cuz you know what, some of you are just misunderstood whilst the rest are just downright demons unable to express yourself properly you end up been the next axe murderer down your street. Fucking get a grip. What are you moaning about this time??? Whose life are you trying to destroy??? Is nothing ever good enough for you???? Give me Give me Give me......like a freaking baby....I aint your daddy sunshine.

The thing about PSYCHO bitches is that on the outside they seem like NORMAL WOMEN. They were probably normal at one point till someone ticked the wrong fucking box, pushing them over the sane cliff into a crazed oblivion. Now this woman could be one of your best friends, your girlfriend, your workmate or shag buddy. BEWARE!!!! because she is secretly trying to OWN YOU.

to the (PBB) PSYCHO BUNNY BOILER!!!! wow!!! you are a TOUGH LITTLE COOKIE arent you??? you need to stop your obsessive stalking ways before u decide to buy a gun and kill someone. Get the message SISTA, in life we all have ups and downs, good and bad. Be mature and learn to live with it. Certain relations dont work out for a good reason, why are you trying to hold on to someone that doesnt what to be HELD. Some screws are obviously MISSING in your head. however there are times when women haVE the right to wear the PBB badge and that is for the CUNTING MAN RAT!!! that needs to be SCREWED UP TEN FUCKING WAYS from yesterday.

to the MAN CHASING SNATCHING BITCH who pretends to be your friend.....fuck sake find your own man. They pretend to be on your side whilst secretly screwing your man or the person you fancy behind your back. Its hard enough to find someone to love you, then this crazy-ass leg spreading CUNT wants to steal your man. BITCH you want to see CRAZY??!! you better watch yourself. I will knock it right out of you. You must be OUTSIDE your mind.

to the GOLD-DIGGERS....lol. Babes I cant blame you. MONEY is a hell of a DRUG!!! getting with some next man so he can buy you DESIGNER BAGS......you've got your game air-tight. But when you start fucking with someone's marriage so you can go to DUBAI, then you need a SLAP!!! it better not be my man cuz I will find you.....to be honest you dont even want to see me.

Stop asking questions about what MEN are thinking when you're with them. MEN are SIMPLE PEOPLE, you know it already SEX, FOOTBALL, FOOD, SLEEP, PLAYING GAMES, SLEEPING WITH OTHER WOMEN- its true, learn to live with it. If you cant live with it, consider been GAY.

No what GAME you're in before you decide to be a PLAYER if you cant abide by the rules then you shouldnt agree in the first place. DO NOT expect things to change as you play, you are only DELUDING yourself. STOP BEEN BITTER AND TWISTED. GET OVER IT. and find a HOBBY....JEEZ!!!!

I'm only saying what EVERYONE'S thinking....ok PUMPKIN!!!

What is it about MEN???

Disclaimer: this does not apply to all men. There are still like 100 good ones out there. but for the rest of you 1.3million wankers.....remember what goes around comes around.....someone would end up fucking your wife lol. If you are offended by this post then you are part of the 1.3m first-class dicks. Its just my thought if you dont like it, you can fucking go to hell. I dont want to know you anyways..

Oh boy!!! here we go!!! Gosh! I will end up sounding like a ranting cow when this is done but Im doing this for all the ladies that have been jilted, lied to, promised shit but not delivered.

WHAT IS IT ABOUT MEN???

What a bunch of fucking wankers. I am yet to meet a man that is not under this banner...ok ok let me back track. Since I was old enough to know what sex is (ok ladies, dont lie to yourselves, there's probably like 2% virgins in the world and there are all in the nunnery, you not been a virgin doesnt make you a ho...not unless you're a ho then boy!!! its your life man! do your thing), now, where was I, yes since then, It just one freaking catastrophy after another.

When I was back in sec school, guys wanted you cuz they thought you were beautiful and cool to hang out with (well thats my thot not unless they were secretly waiting for you to grow old enough so they can have their wicked way with you....i wont put it past them). So I was in love for the first time in my life and it was pure and good.

Now, MEN dont even want to know you if they cant get their leg over. Its fucking ridiculous. I mean nobody is saying you're not going to get any but MY GOSH!!! what happened to courting nowadays. Let me take you out to dinner, cinema, get to know you. But no, they tell you LET ME SAMPLE THE GOODS!!! what a bunch of fucking bullshit.

People say women are complicated. I am not complicated. I dont know about you. I know what I want and if you're not it then you're not it. I can separate sex from love but when it comes to someone I think I have a good chance of falling for then things get complicated.

WOMEN, in my 24yrs of life, I dont know alot but I know this one thing....DO NOT CHASE ANY MAN....as soon as you find yourself doing that, then you've reach the point of no return. He is not INTO YOU AND IN 99.5% CASE WILL NEVER BE INTO YOU....and if you want to take ur chance with 0.5% then you need to go out more and GET OVER IT and there's nothing wrong with you either, you're still a SUPER-FOX.

MEN, for FUCK SAKE GROW SOME REAL BALLS. Most of you think you are REAL MEN but dont even have the guts to tell a woman that you dont like her and to stop calling you. You let her continue to humiliaite herself cuz it makes you feel good. Some of you lie, cheat and deceive to get a woman to sleep with you....if you have ever done that YOU ARE A CUNTING RAT and you need deliverance.

to the GOOD MEN, i know you guys fall for women and sometimes get rejected. Its cuz there's no chemistry or your breath stinks. You have to step-up your game or your toothpaste We dont all like BAD BOYS but you need to be GROW SOME BALLS AS WELL....JEEZ!!!

to be honest, Im sick of this convo, Ive given myself a freaking headache.....i'm just saying whats in all your minds and if you dont like it..then tough luck....Enjoy!. This is to be contd......

Welcome to No lies land

Wow!!! Finally, after much delibration and laziness, I have set-up a blog...YAH!!! My CV no longer lies. I have created a blog because my mind is full of random shit and if I basically dont have an out let, I might kill myself or you...so its best for all. Wow!! im so excited. Ok.

Disclaimer- Please if you are easily offend, do not read any of my stuff. I cant be held accountable for your feelings. I'm a real person, with real emotions and I'm only expressing myself. You on the otherhand might want to consider getting a sense of humour....

What can you expect from this???
1. Very little facts or figures of any significant content (Yawn boring, who cares??).
2. Random chit-chat (when im bored and refuse to work hard for £7.50 per hr....chiefs)
3.Random funny life experiences (mine and yours....)
4. Stuff on fashion (cuz its my passion)
5. Stuff on men (considering what we have, these guys are the biggest cunts and bitches lol)
6. Gossip (I'm not one for spreading rumours but eh!! if its juciy, God help you).
7. and stuff that happen in our everyday lives.

So, thats what you can expect really. Just my thoughts. I think everyone should set-up a blog. Then we can all read eachothers innermost thots and perhaps all get on you know. We dont have to harbour feelings of resentment, love, lust, hate and whatever other emotions that make living heaven or hell.

My blogs wouldnt be long-winded either so dont worry about sitting around reading a four-page letter. I get bored easily so it can only go as long as my mind set. Like now i'm tired of writing this shit and want to move on to my first major topic- MEN!!!! lol...you know you think it too...Enjoy!